we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He told me they were just razor bumps!
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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