Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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