No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
