If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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