Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize