yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
