i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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