I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
