my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
be right there i have to get my cape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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