that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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