my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
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