tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
