i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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