It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Randomize
