You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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