real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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