May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
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