Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize