Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
