I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
