life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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