first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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