I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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