If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
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