haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
True college students do jello shots in the library
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
