my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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