Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
