I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
