they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
