What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
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For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize