I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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