just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize