the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
