I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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