Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
