i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You ruined the universe
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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