is your mom at the bar?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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