So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize