Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
