I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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