Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Is it penis luge time yet?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
