He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
