I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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