I cockslap morals
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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