You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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