What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
