i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
