He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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