i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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