My ATM looks so different sober.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize