new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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