great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize