I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
