The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
