You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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