a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
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my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
i drank out of a bidet.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
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About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.