Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(406): View more from Montana

As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me

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(917): View more from New York City

No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(312): View more from Illinois

Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.

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(512): View more from Texas

I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing

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(517): View more from Michigan

Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.

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(618): View more from Illinois

That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.

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