Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.