He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
