Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(205): View more from Alabama

How long until YT realizes that it's a man?

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze

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(443): View more from Maryland

She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(858): View more from California

ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL

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(540): View more from Virginia

He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.

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(770): View more from Georgia

I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.

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(614): View more from Ohio

Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?

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