As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
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Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
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Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.