Texts From Last Night

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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.

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  (405): I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account. http://tfl.nu/7g5v
  Replies (21) Good night (1319) Bad night (676)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>

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  (302): she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to => http://tfl.nu/cnq4
  Replies (52) Good night (950) Bad night (10392)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot

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  (904): at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot http://tfl.nu/zopv
  Replies (60) Good night (967) Bad night (4046)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype

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  (515): You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype http://tfl.nu/ca23
  Replies (10) Good night (4289) Bad night (1313)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Say it nicely.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?

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  (303): Say it nicely. (1-303): Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy? http://tfl.nu/5ned
  Replies (51) Good night (16751) Bad night (1586)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  i think the doormans mad at me

  (773): View more from Illinois

  well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...

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  (630): i think the doormans mad at me (773): well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while... http://tfl.nu/017x
  Replies (12) Good night (1372) Bad night (2608)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.

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  (917): i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing. http://tfl.nu/nkz8
  Replies (10) Good night (1177) Bad night (3277)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away

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  (954): malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away http://tfl.nu/rorw
  Replies (10) Good night (3693) Bad night (1120)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm

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  (602): By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm http://tfl.nu/w681
  Replies (2) Good night (1690) Bad night (725)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.

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  (407): If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3. http://tfl.nu/ytxl
  Replies (3) Good night (1397) Bad night (547)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake

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  (706): He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake http://tfl.nu/0u2m
  Replies (5) Good night (1100) Bad night (466)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.

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  (512): He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming. http://tfl.nu/1x16
  Replies (1) Good night (1058) Bad night (359)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."

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  (859): Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace." http://tfl.nu/re9p
  Replies (1) Good night (851) Bad night (344)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.

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  (225): I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College. http://tfl.nu/xtto
  Replies (7) Good night (389) Bad night (729)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face

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  (631): I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face http://tfl.nu/ohdn
  Replies (1) Good night (171) Bad night (224)

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