Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.