A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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