there's paper in my vomit.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize