I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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