Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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