He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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