this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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